Sperlygirl

artist in the making...

oh my little artist...you had me at "ohhh, yellow, mama - plu-eeeeeeeze!!"

along the way...

there is a constant feeling of change in the air here lately - and i think that plays on a lot of moods and emotions (ok, mine specifically). this photo called out to me today as again i am reminded that life is not about lining up your "bikes" in a row so that it makes sense (that's the easy way - the predictable way) - but instead it's about how you deal with that moment where this first bike slowly leans into the second...and so on and so on.

run, run, run away....

finally today after about a month, i felt healthy enough - and my feet hit the ground running! it's so amazing to me how a run can help to lift my spirits, unclutter my mind, and reclaim my sanity a bit. i am hoping that this will continue to boost my immune and help kick out the resident virus that seemed to rent space in my lungs since the holidays! bring on the pavement...

spc: celebration...

this month's SPC theme is celebration - finding my way out of a funk lately i started to really try and look around my every day for small moments of celebration in hopes that refocusing would also lift my spirits a bit. so this self-portrait  is a celebration of taking notice of the "ordinary"  in hopes of uncovering the extraordinary. enjoying an extraordinary meal with my husband and son while watching sailboats glide silently past across the sea.

all that matters...

the funk hasn't vanished - but it is feeling lighter. j and i talked a lot today about life and our views about it...maybe we're both just uber-sensitive, i don't know. but what i do know, from my own experience -- it that you must make space for moments - moments that matter, moments that bring light, moments that bring grief, moments that bring laughter or tears, that reunite or separate -- because it is within those moments that we truly live - grow - bend - and ultimately make (or find) our way. both moment and space matter.

a little funk...

i am in a funk...no real reason for it - but a funk nonetheless. ohhh, and it's one of those icky ones too where you start sizing yourself up to others (WHY do we do that?) no good can come of that, i am old enough to know that one - but there i go - doing it again. and it's that kinda funk where you just don't feel like doing anything but sitting and staring into space. what is up with that?? -- i am not a sitter! maybe it's this cold virus that's been hanging on for the last month - and it's just zapped all the life outta me. maybe it's the time of the year because it's dark in the mornings and dark as early as 5pm. i don't really know...but i sure wish it would just go away.

mondo beyondo (part 2)...

ok..for whatever reason this part was much harder for me that part 1...

1. Write down your intentions for 2008 (things you would like more of in your life what you would like to attract)

i hope to attract more balance in my life - between work & creativity. i hope to feel more confident and self-assured about many aspects of my life.

2. The Mondo Beyondo list(the things you are wanting to manifest that are almost scary to write down. The ones that elicit a gremlin response of “You can’t do that!” or “Who are you to ask for that?” or “Fat chance, that will never happen.”)

a healthy baby #2 (and an easy pregnancy), the opportunity to showcase my artwork in some manner, job stability in a larger school (this one is really like a 2009 item)

mondo beyondo (part 1)...

so after seeing this on kellyraeroberts site - i posed it to my friend kt and said let's give this mondo beyondo a try -- seems like a good way to release and move forward. i will admit though - it isn't easy to write but the process has been a good one for me.

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regards to 2007? ( What did you create what challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)

i am most proud that i carved out time for myself to create for creating's sake in 2007. it's a fine line finding that balance but it's one that is so vital to my happiness on many levels. within that, i am proud that i learned how to use a sewing machine (thank you kt!!) and have been able to make some fun things. i am proud that i completed my first 10K - that has been on my list of things i have wanted to do for awhile - so i am glad to check it off and look forward to doing more! i am proud of my role as mama -- to me that is the most important job i have. i believe that these things i feel i must do for myself - will only make me a better mama. it's important for me to have my child see me doing things in life that fulfill me -- so he will be able to bring the same into his own life.

2. What is there to grieve about ? (What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)

i think the scariest and most disappointing thing for me in 2007 is the job situation -- knowing that many of my friends will be leaving next year (or have already moved on) - and although being able to stay one more year here has it's advantages, unfortunately it's not the most ideal situation for many reasons. so realizing this, processing it and coming to terms with it -- and living in the "limbo" of what will happen next year was absolutely the hardest part of 2007.

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete. (Okay the next step is to say out loud “I declare 2007 complete!” How do you feel? If you don’t feel quite right , there might be one more thing to say….)

in 2007 i have learned new things, found new friends, and tried to treasure the old ones even more so. i have been thrown challenges that have forced me to grow and bend and with all of that...i feel i can take a deep breath and turn to 2008 and face all that she brings with her.

cake, candles, wishes...

and as quickly as the last two years have come and gone - another birthday celebrated and now past. balloons were hung, little cakes decorated, good friends nearby -- and little buddy loving every moment of it.

as i put away new toys, clean up dishes, and pack up items that are too small - or too young for kai anymore...which i feel like i am constantly doing...a wave of melancholy washes over me.  i don't wish kai to stay small (believe me there are some toddler days that make me wish he was 18 already) but it does make me realize how fleeting this experience is - how quickly it changes and passes right before my eyes - sometimes before i get the hang of it - or get used to it - or feel i appreciated it enough.

happy birthday, little buddy. :)

birthday #2 around the bend...

this weekend kai will celebrate birthday #2...(sigh)... everyone always told me once you have children time will pass so quickly - guess i just never expected it to fly like this - before i even caught my breath.

to my little man...you have made these past 2 years of my life two of the very best. you make me stretch and bend in ways i never knew i could - and love in ways i never knew i would. you are the gift.

to j-- you make the parenthood gig an adventure. thank you for always being there - and becoming the wonderful father that you have.